The Holy Connection An Alternative Exploration of Existence
Online Shopper: Today, you are a woman, you have a debit card
Offline Shopper: Yeah, whatever. Before the bank approved her, she shopped of through local markets with cash.
Me: Actually, I used my mom’s card online to buy books so having a card doesn’t make much difference. Cards are accepted offline so I didn’t carry cash. Also there’s cash on delivery option online.
Online Shopper: Whatever the case you gottu accept online shopping is better than offline shopping.
Offline Shopper: No way! Even before the internet came into existence there was just shopping!
Calling real shopping offline is so derogatory.
Online Shopper: We have taken over that’s the reality.
Offline Shopper: You-
Me: Uh guys. You actually are speaking in a rhyme. Having a rap battle is my call.
Both: Yes let’s get this sorted once and for all
Me: *Gets ready with popcorn*
Offline Shopper
The road to the market is here to stay
Unlike the internet that has its negative variables
Shop what I want and what I might want any day
Let’s get this argument get settled
Instead of browsing,
Touch and feel
Where’s the guarantee of the quality
In the next best deal?
Who could know if it’s original or a copy?
Ever heard of retail therapy?
Nobody got time to pay the shipping charges at delivery
Bargaining is my game, my strength my ability
Markets are easy to navigate
I can negotiate
On the internet you willingly chose to be fooled
Unsafe transactions and fraud is by what internet is ruled
Time zone difference
Currency interference
And what not,
Show me what you got!
Me: *Gets more popcorn*
Online Shopper
The world is just one click away
I have this power within my finger tips
Shop to my heart’s content everyday
No need for the crowded market trips
I got cheaper rates
No bargaining! Isn’t that great?
Discounts, coupons and sales
Arguing is such a big fail
The local market is limited
Internet makes everything arrive at my door step
That’s right you can get everything on internet
And not in your malls or street market
During shopping not a single word uttered
Best option for introverts
Sit here, be there
I can be everywhere
Walk walk walk,
Talk talk talk
Person to person
Shop to shop, in the burning sun
Lose yourself, be exploited
Carry those heavy bags and fret
Save time with online shopping
Rather than wasting time searching
Ever heard of currency converter
Time zone is a boon; I can shop at midnight or whenever
I got reviews I can rely on
While you are all alone
I am with the trend
But you are too narrow-minded to understand
Offline Shopper and Online Shopper, raging with anger, ready to tear each other’s head off.
Me: Well I hate shopping.
*Both glance at me*
Me: Oops.
